"This is the way I am. I've always been this way, and I can't change". I've heard this from many people who think that they have no power over their own happiness. They have been that way for so long that they think that they were just born that way. They believe they have no ability to change. But, this simply is not true. The ability to change how we think, act and feel is in all of us. We just need to become aware of our beliefs, figure out if these beliefs are in our best interest, and if not, take action to re-create the belief.
You Agreed to Your Reality
As we grow up, we are taught how to believe and behave in order to be a good person, or successful, or acceptable or lovable. When we believe an idea, we have in reality agreed to it. On some level, we have said yes to that idea. It becomes our reality. But just because we say yes, does not mean that it's true or even healthy. Many of these ideas and concepts have validity, and should be considered, but we need to examine what we agree to and figure out what is truly valid, and what's not. We need to agree that we have choices, and then find the choices that will lead to happiness.
I use to agree to the idea that I should take things that other people think about me to heart, so much so that I would allow myself to be upset if they didn't like me. I was subconsciously walking around saying to myself "I agree to be hurt by others by taking everything they say personally". I just didn't know it.
It's Their Problem, Not Yours
Then a wise friend said to me, "Donna, if they don't like you, it's their problem, not yours". That struck home. I became aware what I was agreeing to, and decided to change it. I rarely take things personally anymore. It is such freedom.
What Do You Believe About Yourself
Make a list of things you believe about yourself. Go down the list and ask yourself, do I agree, deep down in my heart of hearts that this statement is true? Does this statement empower or disable me? If you answer is the latter, or it the statement makes you uncomfortable, you may be agreeing with something that is false.
If the statement is not in your best interest, decide to disagree with it. Make a new agreement. Change that statement into something that empowers you. Decide, right now, to no longer waste energy by agreeing to a lie. Create a new way of viewing yourself, one that is positive, productive and creative.
You Have the Power
Realize that not only do you have the right to create you own reality, to choose what you are going to agree to about yourself and your purpose for living, but you have the power to do it. Yes, even you! In addition to that, you have a responsibility to do so, to live the most fulfilling life you can, not just for your own pleasure, but for those around you. The greater a life you lead, the better the world will be.
Unless you make that choice and take the effort to develop yourself to become the best possible "you" you can be, you will stay right where you are. Nothing will change.
Happiness is a choice, not a chance. You just need to ensure that you are agreeing with true statements about yourself and your world. It is all up to you.
Visit Strategies4Happiness.com for ideas and practical strategies to help you reach your Happiness Potential. You can also subscribe to our free newsletter from the Happiness Specialist, Donna Hedley.
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